Mommy Brain

Boy do I have a bad case of "Mommy Brain" recently!! This is shaping up to be worse than my previous case of Pregnancy Brain. The majority of my dysfunction revolves around the multitude of doctors and therapists we're involved with. In the last week, I've forgotten to show up for an appointment for myself and have forgotten about Joseph's occupational therapy appointment until she showed up in the kitchen at lunchtime...oops. That one I played cool, like "oh he was hungry "...smooth...the other one didn't go as well - hard to talk yourself around not even showing up. Apologies worked better in that situation. I even have a daily planner with all the appointments listed that I review every morning and apparently forget about by lunch time. I've got to come up with a better system.

Being outnumbered, I've found that surviving (both myself and the kids) has required the development of new skills. For instance, I can now carry two kids up the stairs in such a way that one cannot reach the other and neither gets dropped. I can (usually) catch objects being thrown at me while nursing. I can eat, nurse, and feed Joseph lunch, all at the same time. It's multitasking like I've never known it before. It's difficult when you feel like you have to temporarily neglect one kid to tend to the other when they both need you at the same time. I've caught myself wondering what was I thinking having more than one. Remember that old problem riddle where you have a fox, a chicken, and some grain that all need to get across the river but only one at a time? In which order do you bring them so that the fox and the chicken are not left together and then chicken and the grain do not end up together as well? Taking the kids (and all the stuff you need to survive while out with the kids) in and out of the car is a lot like that problem.

I realized last night that these multitasking survival skills develop at different rates between spouses. I was nursing Christian to sleep for the night and I remembered he needed his medication first, before he fell asleep, so I asked my husband if he could get it for me while I continued nursing. He was in the middle of getting Joseph's medication and didn't understand my reasoning for stopping what he was doing to do what I had asked of him so that Christian got his medication before he fell asleep. "One thing at a time!" was the answer I got. It was in that moment I realized how different our capacities for multitasking have become. I need to make more of a conscious effort to be patient with him and to appreciate the help he gives - in the way that HE gives it.

With school starting this week and Eddie taking 5 classes on top of working 2 jobs to support us, I've been scrambling to figure out how to fly solo with two kids. At this point, a successful day equates to remembering to change and feed the boys, never mind getting the laundry, dishes, housework, or errands completed. Those have all become added bonuses. At the end of the day or in 20 years, which will I remember more: reading the same book 20 times to joyful applause and all those extra cuddles or a clean house with folded clothes?